these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
