fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
