All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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