just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
