Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
