Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
