apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
