Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
