I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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