ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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