He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.