found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.