No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.