your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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