So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
