You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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