About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
