they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
