maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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