Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My nipple is on Facebook.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
