you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize