I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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