I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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