ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
