The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
