this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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