Capitaan dildo arrescate!
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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