you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
