Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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