he thought i was a dude.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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