Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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