He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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