we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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