I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
