This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
