Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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