Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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