I could have mohawked her pubes.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
