You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
