The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You need Xanax blowdarts
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
