She said her name was "party"
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
