Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
