I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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