doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
