He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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