Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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