It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
