I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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