If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize