His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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