I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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