just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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