Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
