btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
