just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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