I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
