never play flip cup with pint glasses
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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