oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
