Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
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