please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
