It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Randomize
