ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
