i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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