She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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